Fear of losing virginity because of pain
There is no doubt that the first sexual intercourse will be painful for a woman because the so-called hymen needs to be broken. Some women feel a great pain, while others feel a slight pain, but they are all afraid before having sexual intercourse for the first time because of the physical pain they can’t avoid. Young women, who feel a strong fear, can have serious problems with their partner because they make thousands of excuses for not being the right time for sexual intercourse and start avoiding real penetration. Or as a well-known psychologist said: “The fear of pain prevents women from deciding on sexual union so as to postpone it indefinitely, accept it verbally, but when her partner makes advances to her, she becomes moody, indecisive and negative.”
Fear also diminishes rigidity of the partner’s penis during erection
If the first sexual intercourse is postponed for a really long time and if a young woman is already mature enough to have sexual intercourse because, for example, she is in a serious relationship and old enough in terms of age, this may create serious problems. Excessive fear of pain can cause an even greater pain than usual when a woman loses their virginity because she is firmly convinced that it hurts. This fear and pain before making an attempt to penetrate the vagina, of course, also scares the partner, who can have difficulties in maintaining an erection, meaning that sexual intercourse is interrupted and postponed to a later time because of a bad experience. This also often happens to young women who are afraid of pain in general. A strong fear can also cause vaginismus, that is, contraction of the muscles around the vagina, which occurs at the moment when the partner’s penis draws closer.
Psychological reasons
Naturally, reasons aren’t only of a physiological nature. They also involve childhood traumas, such as the abuse that instills fear of the male sex into a young woman and the woman therefore doesn’t trust her boyfriend enough to lose her virginity with him. Another reason can also be a very conservative upbringing where the mother has taught her daughter to wait until marriage before losing her virginity. As the daughter can have strong feelings of guilt if she loses her virginity before marriage, she waits and thus makes her otherwise good relationship with her boyfriend, who loves her, but doesn’t want to get married, very complicated. Another common reason is that sexual intercourse is forced on young women by their environment. For example, friends who already lost their virginity. The elder sister who may tease her because she is still a virgin. Or a young man who forces her to have sexual intercourse too soon. Owing to that, a woman can have dislike for sexual intercourse and thus a hard time to get rid of it in a short time. An additional reason also lays in low self-confidence as regards appearance, which is a burden on many young women today, by saying that men won’t like them nude or they won’t perform well and will lose in comparison with women who are more experienced in sexuality.
An honest conversation is helpful
Women who have the fear of losing their virginity are advised to have an honest, educational and thorough conversation about everything that bothers them and makes them afraid. The first are parents, maybe a best friend or a relative that a young woman trusts. Otherwise, it’s best that you see a specialist, that is, an expert in psychotherapist or sex therapy. If a woman is slightly older, her partner must also participate in the therapy. It’s partners with their wrong tactic and impatience, which are completely understandable, that cause even more serious problems because they don’t know how to act in such a complicated situation.
