(A twisted / updated version)

With all due respects to the nations mentioned


You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.

You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows and say that that nation is a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab that nation's cows.

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.

You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge owners for storing them.
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

You have two cows.
You don't know economy.
You choose one of them as the Prime Minister of the country and the other as the Leader of the Opposition.

You have two cows.
You worship them. Follow @getjaam